3 Ways to Not Be a Productive Writer (or anything else)
Because who need that?!
You have the option of pursing your dreams like everyone else. Sometimes, those dreams are hard to reach; pursuing them can be a lot of work, and let’s face it, no one wants to do anything that takes a lot of work.
Maybe you’re the kind of person who doesn’t mind, but when you’re successful, you have a slew of new things to deal with; pride, a sense of satisfaction, and having to own that you accomplished a thing when your peers inquire. And that’s a lot. So, I’ve provided for you some time-tested, tried-and-true ways to make sure you will not have to deal with the hard work or the challenging aftermath of getting things done.
Procrastinate
I can’t recommend this enough. It is a skill absolutely fundamental to completing nothing. There are several ways to accomplish procrastination.
The age of social media has been a tremendous help in establishing solid procrastination habits. If TikTok videos aren’t your thing, or if you’re tired of skimming poorly written and ill-informed comments and retweets on Facebook or Twitter, there are a few other tried-and-true methods.
Be careful, though. There are side effects that could prove deleterious to your mission of not accomplishing anything.
Read a book, or watch a movie.
Instead of writing, you could read what someone else has already written. Whether it’s fiction or non-fiction, the next book in an epic saga or celebrity gossip, the options for this technique are endless.
The same holds true of movies, whether documentary or the latest block-buster action flick. If you’re really dedicated to this technique and need to fill the hours you could be writing or revising, nothing beats binge watching a show with several available seasons on your favorite streaming service.
A word of caution. It is possible that digesting the work of others inspires your work. A plot twist or character development, an interesting bit of history or science, could have you on the road to your next big idea. You risk walking away from the screen or putting down the book and returning to your work.
Complete a household task
There’s always a chore to be done. It could be something as simple as emptying the dishwasher or folding a load of laundry, or it could be a bigger task, like planting a garden or re-organizing the garage.
These things need done and there’s no sense in putting even them off. Every one of these chores takes up time, and when the notion strikes you to tackle the next writing task you’ve been avoiding, do one of these instead.
Again, there are potential side effects. For one, engaging in a physical task can leave the creative part of your brain free to wander, and you might accidentally come up with new ideas or stumble into a breakthrough that gets you past the sticky chapter you’ve been working on. You might even find a sense of accomplishment that convinces you you can, in fact, finish the project you were working on.
Embrace Impostor Syndrome
You’re an amateur. You may have had great reviews, and you might have something really compelling to say or an engaging story idea, but does anyone really want to hear it? Writing, revising, and editing take a lot of time and effort. Is it really worth it when no one cares?
Impostor syndrome, or the feeling that you aren’t really the thing you are, can be an excellent way to keep you from reaching your goals. Once you truly embrace the demoralizing power of self-doubt and lack of personal value, the resulting mental paralysis can be a powerful tool to keep you from even attempting to open your notebook or load the latest project.
If you’re really want to take impostor syndrome to the next level, allow it spiral. Start questioning if you’re actually good at anything. Let it gain momentum and don’t let any of the people who support and encourage you get in the way. They’re just telling you what you want to hear so you feel better about yourself, and that will not help you not reach your goals.
Avoid routines and discipline
If procrastination and impostor syndrome haven’t worked you, and you simply must take up the proverbial pen, avoid establishing a routine. When faced with the possibility you might make progress, it’s best to do so sporadically.
Do not write regularly. Do not create a schedule. Routines are dangerous and often lead to a pattern of behavior that could disrupt your plans to accomplish nothing.
One sure-fire way to fall into the trap of achieving a completed project is self-discipline. A dedicated time or space for writing makes it too easy to develop a habit. You tinker away little by little, gaining a sense of satisfaction that progress is being made, and before you know it, you’ve lost the thread of stagnation. Even a small amount of dedication, such as ten minutes a day or 500 words, can add up over time and before you know it, you’ve double that and the pages are piling up.
A last word on discipline: Stay disorganized. Backup folders, physical files, a dedicated notebook, and an uncluttered workspace can be deceptive. In fact, studies show a neat work space often leads to less anxiety and a more organized mind.
Not only will organization make things easier to find, you might feel more relaxed and it’s important for the project you’re working on to feel scattered and for you to feel daunted. Spread papers around. Save your files in a variety of locations. Refrain from creating backups, and jot down any notes and ideas you have on the backs of envelopes and bits of scrap you find lying around. This is sure to help keep you from feeling confident about your work.
In summary
There are plenty of ways to waste time. There are menial tasks you must do right away. You aren’t good enough to complete any creative work, and probably shouldn’t. And if you must write after embracing all that, do it irregularly amidst committed clutter with an undisciplined approach.
I’m certain that by following these guidelines, you will avoid making progress with your next project. And if you think these tips work only for writers, think again. You can procrastinate, doubt your worth, and approach any challenging task with a lack of discipline and nearly guarantee you won’t get it done!
Phillip Davis is the author of Peppermint Lightning, Jack-o-’Lightning, and Justice for the Missing. (Sequel coming in 2023!) He is an elementary school teacher, mental-health advocate, long time NaNoWriMo participant, and member of the Ninja Writer’s community. He writes on the topics of writing, building an author platform, mental health, and self improvement.
